Session Zero Heroes - A TTRPG Actual Play Podcast
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Skylar: Last time on hunter's haven. Trick or treat, fight or flee.
Cameron: Our first character I'm gonna introduce is Alex. Alex is a religious youth, who embodies a heroic spirit. They, believe that they have been chosen to protect the innocent, and champion the cause of good against any malevolent forces that they may threaten, that may threaten their friends. I'm bible. No one knows who bible man is. Is that because that's the only costume your parents would let you have? Yes.
Cameron: He wanted to be a superhero. Like, he. He likes costume, but he has to, like, secretly read them. Yeah, I've got the plastic armor, the cheap plastic shield, everything, and the cheap bible man lightsaber.
Cameron: So we're gonna come next to our second character, and that's gonna be Maya. Now, Maya is a quirky and surprisingly knowledgeable friend with an uncanny affinity for anything supernatural. Her mind is brimming with tales of strange occurrences, both legendary and bizarre, making her an essential guide through tonight's adventures. So, Maya, tell us about yourself.
Mikayla: You know Kim possible?
Cameron: Yes.
Mikayla: I was gonna be Rufus. I am Rufus because my group of who I think are really great friends, they are all, like, you know, Kim possible and Ron and I got wrapped into being the naked mole rat we're going to James.
Cameron: James is a dedicated horror movie buff, whose encyclopedic knowledge of folklore and monster hunting weapons him with useful insights and strategies for overcoming whatever challenges lie ahead.
Skylar: so James Rodriguez is a mall goth, and he tugs like this. And his costume that he's wearing this Halloween is the crow from the movie the Crow. He loves horror. Cause James has a lot of punk songs he's gonna be referencing throughout this.
Cameron: So our last character, but this is Ella. Ella is a self proclaimed skeptic who craves a typical Halloween filled with candy and fun. Her grounded nature might provide balance to the chaos, but she also finds herself questioning everything that happens around them.
Cameron: So she's the straight man of the group. Yeah, well, I imagine Ella as, like, a really kind of whiny, sort of. Kind of like Arnold from magic school bus. And in that same vein, she is in a Miss frizzle costume.
Cameron: So the setting is, you know, you're a regular suburban town during Halloween night. Ah, you know, shadows loom larger than life, and every corner beckons with the promise of adventure. So as the sun dips below the horizon, the scent of fallen leaves mixes with the crisp, chill air of October that dances playfully along the streets, the vibrant hues of Jack o lanterns flickering to life. painting the darkening world in glowing shades of orange and yellow. You and your friends clad in ghostly costumes, excitement bubbling within you, set out for your night of trick or treating. This year, however, feels peculiar. Is it that you are each a year older, finding yourself closer to being too cool for trick or treating? Is it the extra tales whispered among children and adults about a local legend of a haunted house? Is it the local troublemaker, the local busybody, Miss Douglas, who is a not quite octogenarian, but you have no idea how old. She's just old that tells everyone that, you know, oh, trick or treating is getting more dangerous. Every time you hear about it. She has a different story about something bad that happened to somebody and to her, you know, every time she talks to her parents, it seems like she's saying, well, maybe we should just tone it down this year. So as you go out there, you notice a lot of, a lot of houses are dark. They don't, they don't have their porch light on. They don't have any decorations. They've kind of stepped back from the tradition this year. you'll notice that while there's other kids out, there's not as many as you would think. So in front of you, you're going to see, you know, let's call it a quarter of the house is litanous in these houses. and then at the end of the street, you're going to see a weathered looking house. We'll get to more details of that after we kind of play around a little bit. But the first thing I want you to do is decide for yourselves what happens next. You are standing where you've decided to meet at the end of this street called a cul de sac. I don't know. and there are, out of twelve houses, there are four houses. There are four houses. How many kids in costumes do we see?
Cameron: at the moment, it seems like the cul de sac has been cleared out. It's kind of like, as you were turning to come into this cul de sac, the, the, you know, chaperoned
00:05:00
Cameron: group of little kids is going the opposite direction because they pass you leaving and you don't know any of them, so you haven't really. They aren't. You didn't hear them talking about anything.
Mikayla: So basically, we're the last ones there, and we're gonna get the rest of the candy from these houses.
Cameron: That would be what you would assume you have to make a decision to go to these four houses. Now, you'll notice four players, four houses. Maybe some deductive reasoning here. I'll let you decide what happens with that, though.
Cameron: James, you said this is the, busiest part of town.
Skylar: Yeah, well, I just moved here, so I don't know why you listen to me at all.
Cameron: Because you go every year, you said.
Skylar: Well, yeah, in a different neighborhood, you.
Cameron: Said, cul de sacs are the sweet spot of the suburbia.
Skylar: Okay, well, yeah, that's true. They are. They are usually. So I'm kind of surprised. I'm as surprised as you. This, all. This all has something to do with that. Misses M. Douglas.
Cameron: I've been looking forward to this for three months, James.
Skylar: Well, I mean, hey, the little bit that we've done.
Cameron: Ella, all about Halloween, she was so excited. Look at her costume.
Cameron: I really like the baby roosts that I got in here. If you guys don't want your baby roast, I'll have them.
Cameron: Yeah, you can have my.
Skylar: I don't want my baby. My baby roost. So you can have them, Ella.
Cameron: Thank you.
Skylar: I need to make room for, to get my hand in here, to get my eggs.
Cameron: I need three musketeers. Do you have three musketeers?
Cameron: I'll trade you three musketeers, but I'm gonna need a Reese's.
Skylar: I'm not giving you my Reese's.
Cameron: I got a Reese's.
Skylar: Are you kidding me?
Cameron: Or family?
Cameron: Yeah, yeah, anything to keep you.
Skylar: Okay, so here's the plan. Okay, so there's an unspoken rule for you guys that don't Halloween very often, right? So if the light's on and they give you candy, that's good. but it's a trick or a treatise. So if they give you the treat, awesome. If they don't, then they get a trick. So all these houses with no lights on. Bam. And he pulls out a carton of eggs from his, his pumpkin. Plastic pumpkin bucket.
Cameron: We're gonna give him eggs. Isn't that like an Easter thing?
Skylar: well, it's a. That's a fair point, but they're not hard boiled.
Cameron: So what are you gonna do with the eggs?
Skylar: And he looks both ways, and he.
Skylar: Leans in close, he says, we're gonna.
Skylar: Throw em at the houses.
Cameron: That seems immoral.
Cameron: That's gonna make a mess.
Skylar: It is gonna make a mess.
Cameron: You get it, Ella, who's gonna clean up the mess?
Skylar: I don't know. Them. Probably not us. And he takes one of the eggs, and he just hugs it. I don't imagine he has a very good capability. When it comes to anything physical, and it probably is.
Cameron: Just to be clear, you're still standing at the end of the street.
Skylar: It just goes like, 510ft.
Cameron: Were you aiming for, like, the first.
Cameron: House or you, like, four houses down?
Skylar: It, like, lands in their yard, softly in the grass.
Cameron: It doesn't even break.
Cameron: Ella just walks over, picks it up.
Cameron: Wow, that's.
Skylar: Yeah, keep. You throw it. Throw it at the house.
Cameron: But I don't want to make a mess. You just gingerly pieces it back in your.
Skylar: Thank you.
Skylar: All right. And I start walking toward. Walking towards one of the split houses.
Cameron: James, is this what they normally do on Halloween?
Skylar: Yeah, this is, like I said, it's the proverbial, unspoken rule.
Cameron: Is this true, Maya?
Mikayla: For some of the people.
Cameron: That was so good.
Cameron: Well, I feel safe.
Cameron: All right, so as you're debating this, you see someone in one of the dark houses, kind of open the door and say, hey, what are you doing?
Skylar: Trick or treating? What are you doing?
Cameron: What's that in your hands?
Cameron: it's, feather scotch, sir.
Cameron: It's a baby rose.
Cameron: Why.
Skylar: Why did we all say different candies? Do you know how fake that sounds?
Cameron: Fake? It's.
Cameron: I have a baby roast.
Skylar: He was asking about what's in my hand, and we all said different candy.
Cameron: Why are you showing him?
Skylar: I'm not. I'm trying not to.
Cameron: This guy who's just, you know, your average suburban dad. Just listening to this. I'd like if you're, you know, any dungeons and addies listeners in the neighborhood, you can figure who I'm talking about. It's not that dark. I can see you're holding eggs.
Skylar: What?
Cameron: We're racing baby chicks.
Cameron: Alex, is that you?
Skylar: It's part of us.
Cameron: Alex, are you guys. Are you kids going around egging houses?
Cameron: No.
Cameron: Do I need to call your father?
Cameron: I'm spreading the word of the lord.
Cameron: I'm Bible man. If I have an egg on my house, I'm calling your dad. Alex.
Cameron: Yes, sir, Mister Gunderson, sir. And I salute him with my saber.
Skylar: That was pretty good cover.
Cameron: you know what? I talked to all my neighbors, so if I see any eggs, I'm also calling your dad again.
Cameron: Wow. Word spreads fast on Halloween.
Cameron: I actually am probably gonna have a conversation at church with him about why you're out here trick or treating.
Cameron: We compromised, Mister
00:10:00
Cameron: Gunderson.
Cameron: I'm sorry. I didn't realize that the Lord compromised.
Cameron: He slams his door so close.
Cameron: So you need to decide to. There will be repercussions for Alex. If you choose to throw, I would.
Cameron: Hope you don't throw those eggs.
Skylar: Hold on to the eggs for now. We'll get to a different culture.
Cameron: Save it for a different.
Skylar: Yeah.
Cameron: Remember, you have twelve eggs.
Skylar: All right, I've got twelve eggs.
Cameron: Just think about it, though, James. He's got hoa on his side. We don't mess with hoa.
Skylar: The what? Hoa. What is that?
Cameron: Isn't that the thing that runs the cul de sac hoa?
Skylar: I've never heard of that before.
Cameron: I don't know. It's, like, homeowners or something.
Mikayla: Again, the homeowners Owners association.
Skylar: The homeowners associate.
Cameron: Oh, that's what it stood for. Oh, this bob's like, home owned anonymous or something like that.
Skylar: The tribunal.
Cameron: I'm gonna be 100% with you guys. I thought this was some super christian thing. Oh, I didn't know. It was like a shortening of Jehovah. I don't know.
Cameron: We don't mess with Hova. It's slang.
Cameron: Is that God's gang name? I don't even know.
Skylar: I'm part of God's game.
Cameron: Skivity.
Skylar: All right, gang.
Cameron: Again, just to recap, just to keep it on the rails, four houses, four kids. Do you each wanna go hit up a house really quick and get some candy?
Cameron: Yeah, you know, it's getting nice of young. Yeah, hit em up.
Skylar: I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna go to that one. You go to that one. You go to that one.
Cameron: We're splitting up.
Skylar: Well, tell them you need four kids worth of candy.
Cameron: Tell you what, you can do these.
Cameron: Together and just, you know, one person can be, like, the lead on each, or you can do them separately, and we'll go through one by one.
Cameron: Let's do them together.
Cameron: And just one kid's got the lead.
Skylar: Well, I was gonna say we split up, and then. And then think about it. You say, hey, I've got friends, but they're not here right now. And then you get four kids with a candy. Then I show up their house and I say, I've got friends.
Cameron: I don't like being dishonest and stuff. Fine.
Mikayla: All right.
Skylar: We'll go together.
Cameron: Besides, I mean, Maya already said, well, probably get the rest of the candy, because we're the last kids of the night. Look at this place. It's a ghostland.
Skylar: That's not a bad point.
Cameron: And that was a Halloween pun.
Skylar: Yeah. Yeah.
Cameron: All right, so, all right, which house do you want to go to first?
Cameron: Let's call it Mister Black's. House.
Skylar: All right, sounds good. You, tell you lead the way. Cause I don't know who that is. I just moved here.
Cameron: Oh, he's the pallbearer at church.
Cameron: There's usually more than one of those.
Cameron: They usually have six.
Cameron: This guy just carries the coffin by himself.
Cameron: Whoa.
Skylar: This guy must be Jack.
Cameron: He also has offerings.
Skylar: Okay.
Cameron: Feel like you should have led with that one.
Cameron: I messed up. I messed up.
Skylar: Is he involved with the body and the blood?
Cameron: Yes, sir. Occasionally on the pastures though. Anyways, I'm gonna walk up to his place and knock on the door.
Cameron: Alright. He opens the door.
Cameron: Greetings, mister Black. Oh, sorry. Tricker three.
Cameron: Mmm. Hello. I suppose I need to give you some candy. Young sir, I will say I'm very impressed with your godly costume. We do not see enough of that these days, in my opinion.
Cameron: Thank you.
Cameron: So he's going to hold out the bucket of. And I'm gonna drummy, on your character sheet, I'm gonna have you roll. And we're just gonna do a simple one. I'm gonna have you roll. just a simple investigate. So that's sharp. There's just one. Just if you're the lead on this, it's just gonna be your roll. So roll. Do two, d, six.
Cameron: Oh, that is a shame. Cause I rolled a twelve.
Skylar: I'm gonna make sure that he doesn't.
Cameron: Have razor blades in there. So you rolled both plus sharp. Oh, and we're just gonna decide what's.
Skylar: That'd be a dark take on a plus.
Cameron: So seven total, including your plus, I got twelve. So with a seven, you're going to be able to. There's a limited amount of candy in there. you got some butterscotches. you got some of those strawberry twist candies. You got some knockoff reeses that are, I don't know, shaped like a, Christmas tree. They're obviously just older. They're obviously cropped. That's a long way away. This guy is not probably the popular house.
Skylar: So there's not enough for all of us for.
Cameron: And then at the bottom of it, you're gonna see what looks like just an old fishing net. Like this is obviously just a bucket he grabbed out of the garage and tossed some candy. So if you decide to, you can grab a fishing net with in probably nothing fancy. Just you know, like a mesh net six by, you know, six foot wide. Six foot, you know, just been sitting in the bottom of a plastic bucket.
Cameron: We could just take the net.
Cameron: I don't know. Is he gonna stop you?
Skylar: Sure.
Cameron: Reach in. Grab the stuff. He's facing away from you, holding out a bucket.
Cameron: What do you grab the candy. I don't. I don't.
Cameron: Which one
00:15:00
Cameron: do you have a handful of? All of it.
Cameron: I grab a couple strawberry things and toss them into my strawberry. My. Yeah, he said the strawberry wrap strings.
Cameron: No, no, no. It's like.
Cameron: It looks like the little red thing.
Cameron: With like a green tiny.
Cameron: It's the old people can.
Cameron: This is the old people candy he's handing out?
Cameron: Yes. His man is.
Cameron: I take some strawberry things and I put them into my, bag of truth.
Mikayla: I'm 100% taken to that.
Cameron: You have any Werther's originals?
Skylar: That's such a good candy frill.
Cameron: Are those butters? That's kind of what I meant by.
Skylar: Oh, yeah.
Cameron: Those are butters. Yes.
Cameron: Yes.
Cameron: Oh, score. Werther's originals.
Cameron: You can have mine, Ella. Ah, wonderful.
Skylar: The Christmas tree. Thanks, mister Black.
Cameron: Yeah, thank you, mister Black.
Cameron: Okay, so just to be recap, you, now have a, net. And the rest of you have some mediocre candy.
Cameron: Mediocre at best, says Werther's originals. That's the best candy I've gotten all night.
Cameron: so the house doesn't.
Skylar: As I walk away. As I walk away, I say, thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great.
Cameron: Is that a fallout boy reference?
Skylar: That is a fallout boy reference.
Cameron: I will say.
Skylar: I wanted to end it with this candy. Tastes like you only, but that sounds weird. That starts to get weird.
Cameron: All right, so, you have completed this one. You have received some candy, and maybe more importantly, who knows? A plastic net.
Skylar: That's true.
Cameron: Who's taking the lead on the next house? I don't. I only know a few more of the houses here, but they're all lights out of. I guess they view this holiday as a sin against God.
Skylar: Yeah, it's the best holiday ever.
Cameron: I don't like it when you say stuff like that.
Skylar: Here's the thing. It wouldn't have sounded as bad if I didn't have to follow up what you said before. That if I had just said it's like the best holiday ever. Completely raw context.
Cameron: Context does not wonders.
Skylar: But I blame you on that one.
Cameron: All right.
Cameron: So did he say James?
Skylar: Yeah.
Cameron: James is taking 30 because it's James. you go up to a nice picket fence.
Cameron: Do your rigma. Do your whole thing.
Cameron: All right.
Skylar: I push it through the picket fence. I look at the mailbox. What is the name on the mailbox?
Cameron: it just says daughtry.
Skylar: Daughtry, the dogtree family. I push open the fence, and I stride confidently up, but I'm, like, doing, like, I'm, like, crouched a little bit. Cause I'm trying to do my, like, crow impersonation, like, being stealthy. And I sneak up to the. To the porch. Do they, by chance, have a bucket.
Skylar: Of candy sitting out?
Cameron: Ooh. they actually do. So I'm gonna have you. Since you rolled with that. You don't have to do any of the other stuff. You. Since you just. You snuck up. I'm actually gonna have you, just, you just get it. You know, we're not gonna. I'm not gonna make you do anything else. There's not a lot of physicals that kind of fit with this. So, inside of this bucket, you're gonna see. It's actually. Have you ever seen those clear plastic travel bags? Mm it's actually just a collection of self care things. Inside, there's a plastic travel toothbrush, and in each one, there's a little plastic toothbrush. There is a little, you know, pack of.
Cameron: He's the dentist.
Cameron: Yeah, he's the dentist guy. He's doctor. Doctor. maybe a. So inside of it, there's going. It's almost like a little, like, vacation care pack, right? You have travel toothpaste. You have a toothbrush, one of those little folding ones. You have little, you know, little pack of sunscreen, and you have a disposable camera.
Skylar: Oh, really?
Cameron: Yep. That's actually one of those, like, you know, cheapo. Yeah.
Skylar: Like a kodak.
Cameron: Yeah. with a flash and everything. So, you have access to anything your heart can desire from that.
Skylar: Perfect. Wait, those are each different or in one pack?
Cameron: That's just one little, you know, those little travel bags. Yeah, they're just packed in there. You know, there's a camera, little toothbrush, you know, just like, oh, you're going on vacation. Here's, you know, some things to make your vacation better. Dotry makes the money, and the, toothbrush is branded with Dotry, right?
Skylar: Oh, that's weird.
Cameron: But yeah, no, like, his name. Like, it's the actual doctor on the brush.
Skylar: Like, he got custom toothbrushes. yeah. I take one, and I look over at the rest of the. Have you guys come up to the. Yeah.
Cameron: Thing?
Skylar: Oh, okay, never mind. Yeah, I'm just hiding in the shadows. Normally, I see the sunscreen on it, and I go, this will be perfect. For my pale, pale skin, my pale vampire skin.
Cameron: Do you pick up the camera?
Skylar: Not yet.
Cameron: Oh, okay.
Cameron: So have you take. Did you actually take a pack?
Skylar: Yeah.
Cameron: Okay, so you took a pack. The rest of you guys want to take a pack with you? You take one. Or you're just kind of like.
Cameron: I walk over free camera.
Cameron: yeah.
Cameron: I see the camera, I go, oh, picture that with a Kodak. is that punk enough for you?
Skylar: I don't get that reference.
Cameron: It's Pitbull.
Skylar: Pitbull wouldn't be out by this point, actually.
Cameron: I don't know if it's like late.
Cameron: 2000,
00:20:00
Cameron: same time, like.
Skylar: Oh, yeah, no, he has no idea. I don't know what you guys are talking about.
Cameron: Pit bull's like my favorite artist.
Cameron: He's like the best rapper I know.
Skylar: You guys are posers.
Cameron: what rappers does your character know? Toby Mac. Oh, this is like.
Cameron: It's like fedora Toby Mac era.
Cameron: He doesn't make some Jesus freak bump to that.
Cameron: Extreme days really gets the heart pumping.
Skylar: It was a good song. I want to deny it.
Cameron: Anyways, when I take my to go pack, and I don't know why I'm doing this in the voice, when.
Cameron: I take my to go pack in.
Cameron: Kodak, I, pop them in the, bag of truth, and, I also pull out of my bag of truth, or rather, I pull it out from my breastplate of righteousness. I pull out some tracks, idle man specific tracks, and I place them inside the bowl.
Skylar: Do you know that, that doctor Dotry doesn't attend church service?
Cameron: Is that what the situation is? The thing is, if I know of the houses, I know of the family. I don't recognize the name daughtry. Oh, doesn't go to our church.
Skylar: That's right. So gotta leave him some pamphlets.
Cameron: That's why I brought him proselytizing.
Cameron: Yeah, that's bold.
Cameron: That's bold.
Skylar: It's impressive.
Cameron: You gotta make impact in the dark, dark world.
Skylar: That's right.
Cameron: Anyway, guys, let's move on to the next house.
Skylar: The reality of the situation is that any other kid that comes up to get a pack of whatever is just.
Cameron: Gonna also see the pamphlets and assume.
Skylar: That doctor Dotry left them for the kids to take.
Cameron: Do you go into each pack and slip a track into the pack or do you.
Cameron: No, I just leave them in the bowl just for anyone who's willing to take. Is it normal for people not to be handing out the candy themselves?
Skylar: Yeah, it happens sometimes. Especially if they're wealthier.
Cameron: Also, is it normal for it to not be candy?
Skylar: Yeah, you get some weirdos sometimes. Just be glad that it's not like the candy apple lady or the.
Cameron: I mean, we still have two more houses.
Skylar: That's true. Or the dude that just hands you like a little pack of band aids or something.
Cameron: Like rock.
Cameron: Or a rock.
Skylar: You've had people give you a rock? man, if someone handed me a rock, I'd throw it right back in their window.
Cameron: They ran out of.
Cameron: They probably saw that look in the ride they went to.
Cameron: The one who's got that dull glazed over.
Skylar: I would like to push my luck a little bit. I'm gonna reach in and grab a second packet from this ball on the ring.
Cameron: He shoves the Bible truck out of.
Skylar: The way.
Cameron: On the ring doorbell. It comes.
Cameron: Doorbells.
Cameron: There's a ring doorbell. Yeah.
Cameron: You know what?
Cameron: We put Pitbull in this world. You know Pitbull, if Pitbull exists. Oh, Pitbull's from the two thousands.
Cameron: They're early adopters of the ring technology.
Cameron: Okay, maybe it comes through the real doorbell like.
Skylar: Yeah.
Cameron: He just yells out, it's got an intercom. Hey, okay, it's a camera and an intercom. No one's mixed them together.
Skylar: I just look at it and I go, it's just a pre programmed sound. Don't worry about it. I put it in the bucket and I walk away.
Cameron: James, don't make me call your dad.
Skylar: Why do people know who I am?
Cameron: Here, put it back.
Skylar: I I walk back over the bucket.
Cameron: Oh, don't worry, mister Datchery, he can just have mine. And I put mine back in for him. So I'm just gonna erase my characters.
Cameron: So you now have two packets. He has zero.
Cameron: dang it.
Skylar: I had a great song lyric for that, but it kind of feels wrong to use it. I'll save it for later.
Cameron: I'll just share owls.
Cameron: Yeah, I'll just keep the toothbrush. That's all I want.
Cameron: I want the camera. Yeah, memories last forever.
Skylar: I just came. I chimed in with the haven't you people ever heard of closing the gosh dang door?
Cameron: He still doesn't swear.
Skylar: He just feels a little off.
Cameron: His door was closed the whole time.
Skylar: Yeah, but he had to been looking through it.
Cameron: It is his house. Yeah, don't have boiler.
Skylar: He looks over at the window and.
Mikayla: He says, more than one?
Skylar: Let's just stop, drop everything, forget each other's names and just walk away.
Cameron: I don't know that reference.
Skylar: That's chiodos.
Cameron: Just curious. How many. How many lyrics do you have written? I have quite a few ready.
Skylar: And then, you know, in any downtime I might have. I'm gonna quick pull up some more.
Cameron: James, have you ever thought, what would people think if they knew that I was a Jesus freak?
Skylar: I haven't thought about that before, no.
Cameron: Okay. Anyways, Maya, Ella, who's taking the next house?
Skylar: Oh, yeah.
Mikayla: You.
Cameron: I already. Oh, fine.
Cameron: Fine by me. More.
Mikayla: This is your first Halloween?
Cameron: Yeah.
Mikayla: Take advantage of it.
Cameron: I'll do it.
Cameron: So you don't want to. You don't want to take the lead on one? This is my end. Character is my other type. To walk up to a house by yourself dressed as a naked. Again, as a naked morad.
Mikayla: Probably not.
Cameron: She's in character. You got the second Maya.
Skylar: You've got the second best costume out of all of us. I think it only makes sense that you get a nice, cool, grand entrance.
Cameron: I mean, I'm more than fine being the lead because, And he pats his chest, he's like, I got plenty of these bad boys to hand out.
Skylar: Oh, I thought you were gonna say. Because I've got the protection, the breastplate of righteousness.
Cameron: Yeah. And I've got the, helmet of salvation, so I know what I'm doing.
Skylar: I just don't.
Cameron: Yep, that's hard as a rock.
Cameron: He can leave for Ella. Cause Ella would be for sure the only reason she would go up to a house by herself is that she was forgotten by the rest of the group, and she just decides to go on her marriage.
Cameron: She needs to use their phone.
Cameron: Yeah.
Cameron: Like, Ella just kind of was like, I'm just gonna go over here and thinking that, you know, her best friend and her cousin would come with, but, you know, they just veered off into another direction.
Cameron: We didn't hear her while we were all talking.
Cameron: She's very forgettable.
Skylar: I go to Maya, I say, hey, look, I did a house. I think you should do a house, because if you jump, I will jump, too. And we will fall together from the building. Pledge.
Cameron: Is this.
Cameron: Anytime you see him looking at the laptop?
Skylar: I know the song. I just want to make sure I get their lyrics just right, because somebody will comment, and they'll be like, yo, dude, it's supposed to be the. And not.
Cameron: And it sounds like he really believes in you, Maya. I think you should do it.
Cameron: So both of you are gonna walk up to a house. You're gonna have other people with you. You're not.
Cameron: Yeah.
Cameron: So, Ella, who wants to go first? Ella or Maya?
Cameron: Maya.
Cameron: Maya can go first.
Skylar: Yeah.
Cameron: And again, you have to do the voice. Just to be clear.
Skylar: She's got her fingers underneath. Under her lip.
Cameron: you wrote this into your own.
Cameron: Character, so you can't have anyone else to blind.
Cameron: I know.
Mikayla: I'm kind of grabbing it.
Cameron: At some point, you get to make the character decision. I'm now taking.
Mikayla: I now take it out my teeth. We'll see how serious. Okay, so, walking up to the house. Is it going to be a house you have to knock on? Ring the doorbell.
Cameron: Yeah, you're gonna. They have, No. it's a perfectly nice house. you actually recognize it? it's the house of one of the girls you thought you were gonna hang out with tonight.
Skylar: What?
Cameron: It's actually the girl who is gonna play Ron's house.
Cameron: Oh.
Mikayla: Stacy.
Cameron: This was Stacey. Stacey's, house.
Cameron: Her mom's got it going on.
Cameron: Stacy Wheeler. Nice.
Skylar: I know that one.
Mikayla: I heard that, Stacy has full size candy bars at her house.
Skylar: No way.
Mikayla: Yeah, and, you know, since I'm basically, like, her best friend, they'll probably give me more than one.
Cameron: Wait, if you're her best friend, why aren't you out trick or train with her?
Skylar: Cause we're cooler.
Cameron: That's true, actually.
Skylar: Lead the way, Maya. Let's get those candy bars.
Mikayla: Okay. I'll go knock on the door, ring the doorbell, whatever. Whatever the case is.
Cameron: So this is where you're gonna have to help me. Let's say Stacy's mom decided to go all in on that joke. What would Stacy's mom be dressed as? But also not like Cleopatra.
Cameron: Sexy cleopatra posse. Cleopatra.
Cameron: No, we got gold member from golden. That fits perfectly for our non visual audience of this podcast. describe that costume for us.
Cameron: So foxy Cleopatra. Basically, she's got this giant afro. She's got seventies bell bottom pants and essentially a bikini top, but it's a matching color to the seventies pants and, like, those high, high, seventies type heels. Typically. She was also. I think she had a gun, like a teeny tiny gold pistol or something. Cause she was gold member's, like, right hand lady.
Skylar: Yep.
Cameron: So, Maya, you see your quote unquote friend's mom? Stacy's mom. That's how you know her. dressed in this costume, wearing high heels and bell bottoms and a matching top and a massive afro. Just a quick reminder, this is a nineties stay at home mom who is exceptionally white. So, you know, this is. This. This might be uncomfortable to the 2020s, but at the moment, it's whatever, right? Yeah, it's just.
Mikayla: Trick or treat.
Cameron: oh.
Cameron: And she, like, holds out a bucket, and she's kind of swearing around. Is that you, Maya?
Mikayla: You wet?
Cameron: Aren't. Aren't you. Aren't you supposed to be with Stacy tonight?
Mikayla: Well, like, my invite got lost in the mail. They said, for the party, so I'm hanging out with my other friends.
Cameron: So
00:30:00
Cameron: they made you wear the costume, then? They didn't tell you where the party is?
Mikayla: Well, like, the. Like I said, my invite got lost in the mail is invitation only.
Cameron: Okay, honey, you take two, and she just holds out the candy.
Cameron: Nice.
Cameron: So you get two full size candy bars. Everybody else gets one.
Skylar: Nice.
Cameron: The USP's. It's really going downhill.
Cameron: She doesn't under. She does not understand that joke. That was in the joke.
Cameron: That was in the chat.
Cameron: That was just Alex.
Cameron: That was Alex just commenting on the.
Cameron: State of local government.
Cameron: I think.
Skylar: Okay, well, then he looks at her, a little surprised and disturbed and says, you could. Cause you can.
Cameron: So you do. She's gonna slap your hand away when you reach for candy. I don't know what you're saying. No, I meant, like, I don't know what you're saying. That seems kind of mean. So you don't get a candy bar now? I don't get what the,
Skylar: No one understands me.
Cameron: What is he. He's kind of rude.
Cameron: Oh, I'm Bible man. Oh, James. Oh, sorry.
Cameron: The crow. Okay. And she just closes the door. You wait. My own. You got candy. You got your candy. What kind of candy bars did you grab?
Mikayla: 100 grand.
Cameron: Solid choice.
Mikayla: And a Milky way.
Cameron: Two for two. You. You did get a candy bar, kit.
Cameron: Ah, Kat.
Cameron: Overrated choice.
Cameron: I'm at another house.
Cameron: Oh, right. So you get nothing. So just you two.
Skylar: I slide an egg under her doormat.
Cameron: I slide a tract into the mailbox.
Cameron: Oh, I don't know. All right, so that's gonna bring us from, So just write down your character, make sure you're aware.
Cameron: I do want to establish. I 100% don't notice Ella's gone.
Cameron: No one does.
Cameron: Yeah. Has Ella noticed that everyone else is gone?
Cameron: No, she just thinks she's leading the charge to the next house.
Cameron: Okay, Ella.
Skylar: Amazing.
Cameron: Knock on the door. You just. It's your traditional. This is the house that's closest to the end of the cul de sac.
Cameron: So she knocks on the door. Trick or treat.
Cameron: Are you here? shuffling, like. Oh, I thought they were done. I don't know. Just stupid ass kid. Stupid kids, excuse me. We'll reset that. I don't know. I'll take your pizza. We're done. can you just. Just grab some popsicles and grab them out of the freezer? Like, just give them some popsicles. just put your clothes on. Come on. So you hear some rustling. You see this guy putting a. He has a robe on, a little disheveled. what looks appears to have been clown makeup. Goodness sakes. That's gonna be terrible. In, like, a half, halfway on wig. So just kind of, like, sliding off to the side. Yeah, he's just holding some of the, those, you know, the popsicles of our childhood, you know?
Mikayla: Yeah.
Cameron: Cut the end of it.
Skylar: Oh, yeah.
Cameron: It's kind of funny. They had to put his stuff all haphazardly together and get popsicles. It's a single child.
Cameron: Well, he doesn't know.
Cameron: I'm just saying, he's gonna open the.
Cameron: Door and see it's a single child. He's gonna be like, are you?
Skylar: And then. And then to think that there's gonna be three more that'll show up here in a minute.
Cameron: He just looks at you just like, seriously? Seriously.
Cameron: What?
Cameron: What? I'm Miss Frizzle and my friend here. And I turn around like.
Cameron: My friends were here, you know?
Cameron: There was one. She's like a naked mole rat. One of them's like a crow. I don't know what it is. And another guy, he's like, Larry Boyden.
Cameron: He doesn't. You have actually left this guy speechless. He has no idea. Are you ok, sir? He just hands you the half box of popsicles. He closes the door, and he turns off the light. You have been late. You've just been left in the dark. Score.
Cameron: Score.
Cameron: Popsicles. She'll just, like, sit down on the curb and just start munching away at the.
Cameron: You hear from the window, go away.
Cameron: thank. Thank you. And so she'll just turn around, sit on a curb, and just start going at the popsicles.
Cameron: Are you gonna save any for everyone.
Cameron: Else if they get there in time? Otherwise, she'll just munch on them all.
Skylar: Did you. Where did you go?
Cameron: where did you go? we were going house across where I was at. I was at this house, actually.
Cameron: I have you roll a d six really quick.
Cameron: D six.
Skylar: They have anything good?
Cameron: Six? You have had six pups.
Cameron: Wow.
Cameron: you left me for a while. No, I mean, you just went really. You went really aggressive at the meals. you got three.
Cameron: No, it's just something about it I just I can eat popsicles all day. You know, it's really quite interesting, you see, because the grape ones, they don't give you brain freeze as fast. The cherries. Those the ones you gotta work watch out for.
Skylar: Bitch.
Cameron: Yeah, it's cherries. I only have one cherry.
Cameron: Ella has, popsicles down to a science.
Cameron: I made a lot of popsicle bridges as a kid. And you just gotta eat all the popsicles in order to build a bridge. There's no other way to get popsicle sticks.
Cameron: Did you know, Ella, that they sell popsicle sticks without the popsicle?
Skylar: Do they have the jokes on them?
Cameron: Yeah. Do they not? I also like the jokes. I get good chuckles.
Cameron: Those don't come on the pre packed sticks.
Cameron: see, I enjoy the chuckles that comes with popsicles.
Cameron: Ever.
Cameron: Right.
Cameron: She reads the one. What do you call a, cow with no legs.
Cameron: What do you call a cow with no legs though? I don't know.
Cameron: I haven't eaten the popsicle yet.
Skylar: Oh, I got one. What's black, white and red all over?
Cameron: Penguin.
Cameron: with a sunburn.
Cameron: I've heard that one.
Skylar: That's pretty close. It's a dead penguin.
Cameron: Oh, no.
Cameron: I don't know. I think it's more like the Bible.
Skylar: Where's the red come from?
Cameron: Jesus. You read it?
Skylar: What? What do you mean?
Cameron: If, you ever read an audiobook. Not read the Bible.
Cameron: I gave.
Cameron: It's it's 2000.
Cameron: Oh. Well, you see, in the Bible, it's black and white.
Skylar: Except when I got to the part about the snake in the tree. And then once he kind of went away, I was like. I was. I don't get it anymore.
Cameron: Oh, my word. You missing so much cool stuff. You don't even read about David. David's really cool.
Skylar: What did he do?
Cameron: He killed a giant.
Skylar: Whoa.
Cameron: He also sent a man to die.
Cameron: Okay, we don't need dwell on. We don't need dwelling all of the old Testament.
Cameron: All right? Baptists everywhere.
Cameron: I well, just say you gotta tell the whole story.
Skylar: So wait, hold on. You went up there and now the guy's light is off. What's.
Cameron: I don't know. you can go try. See who has more popsicle. I just been eating popsicles. I forgot that you guys were last with stock. You should try. Let's try again.
Cameron: Off tones of James Brown playing from the house.
Cameron: I kind of want.
Skylar: Let me see what happens. I'll try it. And I stealthed up there, which is really easy with the lights are off.
Cameron: I'm gonna stay back here and.
Skylar: I knock on the door and then I hide on the side.
Cameron: Ella's just standing there with an empty box of popsicles.
Cameron: She's shaking it upside down like hoping one falls.
Skylar: Dude, if you just stood there like Maniacally, almost just holding a box of popsicles like perfectly parallel to the door or whatever, that like would be kind of creepy.
Cameron: You actually hear some people rustling. You still see the James Brown still playing? they just.
Cameron: What the hell?
Cameron: The guy looks like Mary. Mary. She's in front of the house. She's back. Todd. Todd, what are you.
Cameron: Popsicles under the window.
Skylar: Popsicle. Just place them outside the door.
Cameron: God, is she wearing a blue shirt or something? Like what? I don't. Where are your parents, honey?
Cameron: They're like a party or something.
Cameron: We.
Cameron: I just want more popsicles. I forgot to save some for my friends that are here now. My Larry.
Cameron: Are you actually with her in front of this house?
Cameron: Yeah, we're just standing on the street.
Cameron: He's by the house. I like turn around.
Cameron: I point like he's my cousin and she's my best friend. That naked mole ratified don't bunch. And that's it.
Cameron: Oh, that was remarkably aware. Yeah. so the guys just immediately weirded out. so I'm actually gonna have you roll plus charm. We're gonna see what happens here.
Cameron: Do I roll both?
Cameron: yes, you roll two, D six. You have zero benefit.
Cameron: that's not a say, that's a five.
Cameron: You just hear a soft one's voice like Todd, just call the police.
Skylar: Todd.
Cameron: I don't know what's going on.
Skylar: Oh crap. Defense. So I just start like Naruto running.
Cameron: To the rest of the group.
Skylar: We gotta get out of here. He's calling the police.
Cameron: Oh God, there's another one. Are they chasing our house?
Cameron: Sorry for bothering you tonight, sir. We're on our way out.
Mikayla: Who's the first guy?
Cameron: Todd. Todd is a guy.
Mikayla: The first guy in the first house who said I'm gonna call your dad.
Cameron: Oh, Mister Gunderson.
Cameron: Mister Gunderson?
Mikayla: Yeah, he's gonna hear about.
Cameron: Oh jeez my. Oh no.
Skylar: We gotta get out of here fast. He said police.
Cameron: So are we on the far end.
Cameron: Of the cold sack like deep into the coal
00:40:00
Cameron: sec or.
Cameron: We're very end of it.
Cameron: All the way deep into it. And there's only one house left.
Mikayla: The monster house.
Cameron: The monster house. So that gets us to our next set piece. as you navigate from house to house, as you go from place to place, getting some candy, getting some random odds and ends that people left in buckets. Getting some travel kits with various things in it, getting. And then consuming a bunch of popsicles, of which are all gone now.
Cameron: Yes.
Skylar: You feel okay?
Cameron: But she's saving the sticks.
Skylar: Nice.
Cameron: In case she needs to think of a joke for her friends to, like, notice she's still there.
Cameron: So nine popsicle sticks.
Cameron: Yes.
Cameron: Okay.
Cameron: Nine popsicle sticks.
Cameron: Make sure you have that written down if you find a use for them later. So, as you've navigated from house to house, it starts to get chilly, starts to get windier. And a gust of wind howls through the branches of the trees, carrying with it the faint sound of what appears to be crying. Drawn. Just draws your attention to the last house in this corner. The set, which is a set a little bit further back down a path, bathed in a. In the moonlight, you catch sight of a weathered, obviously old for sale sign swaying at the front of it. And this house linked to many urban legends, going as far back as to the infamous anti Halloween crusader that has been telling everyone to get rid of it. this house has a dark reputation of being haunted. Now you have to make a decision about, whether or not your curiosity will be too great to resist. So what do you guys do? You four? No more houses. The lights have all turned off.
Cameron: So the place. This where we are. We just got heard. I'm gonna call the cops. So we start running away.
Skylar: Yeah.
Cameron: Yeah, and I.
Skylar: We got.
Cameron: We got it. That's what you say.
Skylar: Yeah. We gotta hide.
Cameron: Everybody gotta hide. Where do we go?
Skylar: Ooh. That house has a for sale sign. That means nobody lives there.
Cameron: Old man McKinley's. Yeah, well, I'm not too sure about that. Have you heard the rumors about that place?
Skylar: No, I just moved here. I keep telling you guys that.
Cameron: Nobody listens to me.
Cameron: Wow.
Skylar: Like a month ago, nobody's told me about this.
Cameron: Well, the stories go pause as I wait to hear the stories from the DM.
Cameron: Or did you want me on the spot that just. No, no, I'll go with it.
Cameron: Okay.
Cameron: so this is the McGovern house. I'm, gonna make sure we write that down. The McGovern house. so not McKinley.
Mikayla: It's okay. You're preteen. You don't remember all the names.
Cameron: It's true. It's a mick. I got the mick.
Cameron: Right?
Cameron: It's always a marriage person.
Cameron: That's gonna be a little offensive. He's dead, toye. So as you go up, you don't know much. This is the house that your parents whisper about. This is the house that, No, you've never seen anybody live in. You've never seen any lights on in it. But everyone swears that every Halloween, something creepy happens here. that some kids get scared or, some loud noises happen, or, you know, just something. Some stereotypical Halloween nonsense. The kind of things that scare children. For decades. this has been happening as long as your parents remember it. You know, it's. It's, it's. It's years in the making, right? This is all the way back to, you know, their generation. So, you know, for you guys, forever. Now, as you walk up to it, and I'm assuming you're walking up to it because we decide you're walking up towards the house.
Cameron: Well, it's more like. I like the picture that as James, sorry. As Alex is telling the story, James is just like, Yeah, that's interesting. And he keeps inching closer to the place the whole time I'm telling the story.
Cameron: Just to be clear, you know, as the. As you're hearing these stories, there's a couple things that kind of stick out. You know, you hear flickering light, that there's flickering lights throughout the windows throughout the night. you know, in a house that has no electricity, hasn't been on for forever, right. So there's. There's lights periodically go off through the windows. You've never seen it, but you've never been to this cul de sac. This is the first time you've been there. you probably don't know any of these stories because how'd your parents know about it? that, you know, that they're. The shutters will open and close almost at random. and you know that at times, if you're there at the. You know, if you're the unlucky kids this year, you may be chased by a yemenite ghost.
Skylar: Whoa.
Cameron: you may see for yourself the terrifying visage of x, right. Of this creature of the thing. for sake of children, we're not getting into what it is, other than this is a ghost.
Skylar: It's a ghost.
Cameron: so as your group approaches it, you're struck by. It's creepy. It is every creepy story you've ever heard. You probably don't hear a whole bunch of creepy stories. I've heard about this place. You've heard about this place. What do your parents say about this place?
Skylar: It's ungodly exercise.
Cameron: Yeah, it's, it's a, place of the damned. it's. Well, basically
00:45:00
Cameron: they told me that, like, they knew I was going to be going to this cul de sac.
Cameron: So they just said, be careful about.
Cameron: Don't go to this place because of just. It's a, dangerous place. But they didn't go much into details. they just said. They just. They just said it's a, place where an evil man once lived. Ah. But he doesn't live there anymore. But it's not a safe place. That's all they really said. Okay, so as we're inching towards the house, I'm like, what I'll know about this. James, I, Might. My parents live the stay far, far away from old man McKinley's house. That, he said, He was a terrible man, they said, and, Yeah, I don't. I don't believe in ghosts, but old man McKinley. He was an old man McKinley. Anyways, he. McKinley.
Cameron: Wait, I love that you have.
Cameron: No.
Cameron: You're arguing about the name of his.
Cameron: Anyways, old man is, He was a terrible man, live a life of sin and deceit. And, he died alone. And, that was all they told me. But what they didn't tell me. And I can read between the lines. I'm a clever boy. A clever boy is that, He probably hunts this place. Now, my parents don't believe in ghosts, but I've heard sounds and. Can you guys hear that wailing? A ghost can make that sound, right? Yeah, I'm not familiar with that. The days of Halloween, but.
Cameron: And it's intermittent. It's like, just out every so often.
Cameron: Now, it's either a ghost or someone's in stress. And this.
Cameron: That's trouble.
Skylar: James puts his hand on.
Cameron: On Alex's shoulder.
Cameron: How did he get all the way to the porch?
Mikayla: It's probably just a recording.
Cameron: Oh, I need spooky Halloween.
Skylar: Yeah, it's just like a cd player or something.
Cameron: Oh, so this is part of Halloween. Is there typically a cool looking house on the end of a Halloween street?
Skylar: Actually, yes.
Cameron: So what happens there? Do the kids go up there and get, like, a special trick or treat?
Skylar: Okay, hold on. I don't think,
Skylar: Here's the thing. Movies, as informative as they are, they're not like real life, so we'll be fine.
Cameron: I mean, I've only seen, like, five movies, and I know.
Skylar: I mean, all of the horror movies. Yeah, I know. But,
Cameron: Yeah, they. In movies.
Cameron: I mean, that part, they don't have.
Cameron: Like, a Halloween movie.
Cameron: No, no, they never did.
Cameron: Horse. The closest they ever stein.
Cameron: That was like, God is bigger than the boogeyman.
Cameron: And Larry Boy had some more, like, monster stuff.
Cameron: Stuff.
Skylar: Yeah, the rumor we. The rumor weed. And then there was the eyebrows, the angry eyebrows. But that was a. Ah, that was different there, but it was different.
Cameron: Anyways, anyways, my movie in character.
Cameron: This is happening.
Cameron: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are all the movies I've seen. I just named all five.
Skylar: None of them have scary houses at the industry. But look, look, look. Like I said, like I said, base reality off. I mean, as much as I love, I love it.
Cameron: I'm.
Skylar: Oh, good.
Cameron: God's bigger than the boogeyman, so.
Skylar: That's right. All right, cool.
Cameron: Bigger than Godzilla and the monsters on tv.
Skylar: wow, you guys both know this song.
Cameron: All right, well, I.
Cameron: What are you gonna do? The door is closed.
Skylar: I'm gonna just straight up because I'm confident that, you know, there's a person's gonna be here. I'm just gonna grab the knob.
Cameron: Go do it.
Skylar: Thank you all for joining us for another episode of our 2024 Halloween season one shot. Continuing our annual tradition of our hunters Haven Monster of the week series, we hope you are enjoying it. If you are, we encourage you to check out some of our other series, such as our avatar Legends long term campaign benders and brews, which is set in the world of the Last Airbender, or our Dungeons and Dragons long term series criminals of IslA numis. If youre looking for more spooky Halloween fun, you can check out last years Hunter Havens series Music Mayhem, which was written and run by Cameron, whos playing our character Alex in this series. Whatever you listen to next, be sure to follow or subscribe to the Session Zero Heroes podcast on your preferred streaming platform. You can find us everywhere from Apple Podcasts to Spotify to YouTube. Following the show ensures you don't miss out on any of our other upcoming series and one shots. And if you're on a platform that allows you to comment like or rate the show, it would mean a lot to us if you'd take the time to leave us that feedback as it helps us grow and produce better content. Another way to keep up with what we're doing is to follow us on social media, whether that be Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or discord or all of the above. It's a great way to keep up on our upcoming episodes as well as other fun news and content
00:50:00
Skylar: from us. We appreciate you taking a listen. Don't forget, this series will be releasing a new episode weekly until the last one, which will air on Halloween. So be sure to swing back to get the exciting conclusion to this Hunter's haven series. See you next time.
00:50:14