Session Zero Heroes - A TTRPG Actual Play Podcast
Skylar: Last time on Black Friday of the dead. Be advised, the military has completely surrounded the facility. If you are a survivor, you must last until midnight. You guys are headed to Sporties, and then all of a sudden, a bullet kind of shoots by and everybody kind of. You all duck down.
Quinn: What the heck?
Skylar: What are you guys doing? You notice some movement in the winter apparel section?
Dave: Cameron, is that you?
Cameron: And I'm wearing a football helmet and a giant coat, and then I'm holding a baseball bat. Yeah, I do know who the shooter is. Yeah, he was yelling earlier. He shot not just zombies, but a couple people, too. Anyone who's going near his gun area, he's shooting.
Skylar: For those of you that are padding up with football or hockey stuff, you can mark down padded armor.
Dave: We could distract him by setting the area around him on fire. Have these lithium batteries.
Skylar: Oh, yeah, the batteries. Oh, my gosh.
Dave: We each take one, puncture it, and chuck it in that general direction.
Fatty Lumpkins: And then as soon as he leaves, we clock him with hockey pucks and discs and bats.
Skylar: So you got 11 damage coming his way as he just gets pelted by a series of baseballs, discs, etc. He scopes down his rifle and shoots at the first person he sees, which happens to be Quinn. He fires a shot. Bullet still hits you. you scream out in pain. Oh, Jackson. You take four damage as he whips out his pistol and he grazes your ear.
Fatty Lumpkins: I look around me and I see to my left a fire extinguisher.
Skylar: Okay.
Fatty Lumpkins: I'm going to grab this fire extinguisher and then make my way towards the gun.
Quinn: I'm just laying there bleeding out. Right.
Cameron: I'm gonna try and tackle him to the ground, see what I can do there.
Skylar: Okay, so you're gonna go in for a tackle.
Cameron: Yeah.
Skylar: So you see your opportunity to leap out, run over and body check this down to the ground. You're on top of him. As you turn, you look, and in comes Fatty with a fire extinguisher in one hand, and just a wide arc swing comes down on this guy with this fire extinguisher, and it slams into this guy's chest. And you definitely hear the sound of some cracks and shattering bones as he just lets out a large. And he probably coughs up a bit of blood and he just lays there. He. He doesn't seem to be really moving at all. Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of Black Friday of the Dead. I'm Skyler. I'm the. There's supposed to be the, zombie master, I think that's what it was. I don't remember. Yeah, it's a zm, I think, for this game. Every game. You know how they, like, have a different one for each game? Dungeons and Dragons is a dungeon master and then one of the more like general ones, a game master. And I don't know, there's other ones. Whatever the case with me today, we have Fatty Lumpkins, we have Quinn, we've got Dave, we've got Giggly Cameron and not so Giggly Jackson.
Cameron: I'm here.
Skylar: And where we left things off last time, you guys had gone into Sporties, the sort of sports goods store, fearful of the fact that you guys didn't really see a whole lot of the undead inside, or at least not currently undead, they were just re dead. And that had led you to wonder what had killed them. And soon you found out after running into Cameron, that there was an angry, kind of psychotic, very right wing, owner to the sporty store that was protecting his guns and he was shooting back at you guys. I, think Quinn took the brunt of all of that damage, for the most part.
Quinn: Currently bleeding out.
Skylar: He's currently just sitting there bleeding out, which is an important thing to remind everybody who cares and which, I don't know, we'll see who that is. And whatever the case, you guys were able to subdue him, defeat him, very possibly kill him. I believe Connor slammed him down with a fire extinguisher directly into his chest.
Fatty Lumpkins: Oh, it was fatty.
Skylar: Oh, it was fatty. Okay. And slammed him into the chest with a full fire extinguisher. Yeah, very possibly shattering most of his ribs, if not other parts of his body, collapsing things.
Fatty Lumpkins: He is, he has a pneumothorax.
Skylar: I was going to say, as somebody that's in the medical field, I'll just let you describe that. But, whatever the case, at the very least he's unconscious.
Skylar: I don't know if anybody's actually checked to see if he's dead or not, but that's where you guys are at. I would say that you guys feeling, confident that you are now safe from somebody shooting at you, stand up to take a breath for a moment and you notice at the entrance of Sporties that some of the undead have started to make their way in where they've heard all the gunshots and the other noise. They're a long ways away at the moment, but they're headed your way now. What are you guys doing?
Cameron: Okay, I would like to grab two things.
Skylar: Okay.
Cameron: I guess Three things maybe, but two of those are kind of combined.
Skylar: Okay.
Cameron: I want to grab one of those hunting, compound bows with like, five arrows. You know how they have the quiver.
Skylar: Yeah.
Cameron: On the side of the bows. It holds, like, five of them. That's what I want.
Skylar: Okay.
Cameron: And then I also want to go, back to the clothing section of the sports store.
Skylar: Okay.
Cameron: And I want to find, a pair of shorts that are like a 3 inch inseam that say juicy on the butt.
Skylar: Okay. That was two things. Well, three things if you count the arrows is what you're saying. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah. You find the shorts for sure in some, of the. More like, let's see, runwear. I think that would probably fall in. but before you do, you grab the composite or the sort of bow. Right. It's like a composite bow.
Cameron: You could call it that.
Skylar: Not like a crossbow, Right?
Cameron: No.
Skylar: Oh, okay. So composite bow, that's a D eight times strength. It is a ranged weapon, obviously, and you've got five arrows for it, so be sure to put that down on your character sheet. So that's, Jackson's. You see Jackson go running around the store grabbing up a couple of things. What are the rest of you guys doing?
Cameron: I'm bleeding out.
Quinn: yeah, I need help. If someone,
Fatty Lumpkins: Help.
Quinn: Help me.
Skylar: I was like, well, yeah, you gotta let him.
Quinn: Yeah, I'm bleeding out over here.
Skylar: Somebody.
Quinn: Somebody help me, please.
Skylar: And his calls fall on death in yours.
Quinn: Guess I'll die.
Cameron: Something.
Cameron: I'll help Quinn out before I go get the shorts.
Skylar: Okay, you pause for a moment. I will be right back.
Quinn: I will be right back.
Cameron: I come back full.
Quinn: Look at that.
Skylar: You're. You're absolutely.
Cameron: You're rejuvenated after seeing that.
Skylar: Those look really nice. Awesome.
Quinn: Those look really nice. Yeah, I'm. I'm losing blood. There's got to be some, like, athletic bandage and stuff around the area. Yeah, there's got to be some, like, just. You would think like alcohol, like. Like rubbing alcohol or sports medicine type stuff.
Cameron: You're bleeding out in the, like, sternum area.
Quinn: No, I got shot in the shoulder.
Cameron: Okay, you're bleeding out in the shoulder, and I tie up your ankle.
Skylar: Like, how you feel better? Well, it's a nice compression, but I don't feel like it's helping. I m. Would say between a shoulder compress and maybe some, Ace wrap. Ace wrap. Maybe some gauze. Maybe at a sports store. but whatever the case, you're. At least your bleeding has stopped. And you're not actively dying.
Quinn: I think that the bonus.
Skylar: Yeah, I think the fact that it was a shoulder wound and then the mix of, like, the fact that it was a hunting rifle at a, like, reasonable distance. I want to say the bullet went through, and that's a benefit I'm giving to you.
Fatty Lumpkins: You can do anything you want as the Z Master.
Skylar: That's right, I can. So we're going to roll with that. The bullet went through, and you've officially stopped the bleeding. You're not actively dying. Infection could become a problem if you waited too long.
Quinn: Well, we need to find some.
Skylar: Like, you're planning on leaving eventually in the near future.
Quinn: Yeah, but I probably.
Skylar: Sure.
Quinn: Probably should get some row.
Skylar: Are you getting up?
Quinn: Yeah.
Skylar: Oh, okay.
Quinn: I can walk. I'm not like.
Skylar: I know, but you're just. You were just laying there going.
Quinn: Bleeding out then. Yeah, I probably get up.
Cameron: Yeah.
Skylar: Okay. Okay.
Quinn: I feel like if any of us got shot, we'd be laying there for a little bit.
Skylar: No, I'm not saying that's beyond reason. I'm just saying even if I wanted.
Quinn: To ask you, like, the shock.
Fatty Lumpkins: Yeah.
Skylar: Yeah. Anybody else. Anybody else doing anything in particular?
Quinn: I, would like to grab something.
Skylar: Okay.
Quinn: Yeah, I'm gonna need, like, a hand gun because I can't use my left arm. So I'm gonna need a handgun with, like, I would need some. Some help to make, like, a few extra magazines.
Skylar: To make.
Quinn: Well, like, you're, like, you'd have to fill them, and I could take, like, three or four extra pockets.
Skylar: Okay.
Quinn: But, like, I need some assistance because I couldn't. I mean, I don't know. I feel like that would be kind of taxing. So if anybody would like to help me with that, that'd be fantastic.
Cameron: I will sit and help. Quinn.
Quinn: It shouldn't take that long.
Cameron: Load a magazine, Quinn.
Dave: Just grab a bunch of these revolvers and go, Blackbeard style. Like, strap. Strap some of these belts across your chest.
Skylar: Yeah, that'd be cool. All right, so you're. You're armed? Disabled. Switching.
Quinn: I
Quinn: mean, I could probably. I could maybe, like, bend my hand a little bit.
Skylar: Okay. Yeah, but you're trying to minimize the amount that you have to move. Yeah.
Quinn: So what would. What's the, stuff for?
Cameron: The.
Skylar: What do you have a preference on, like, because, I mean, you guys have this to a limited extent, kind of free reign as far as guns go. Do you have a preference?
Quinn: And just to be like, a normal handgun.
Skylar: Okay, let's go with a nine millimeter okay, so that's a D6 times four.
Fatty Lumpkins: D6 times four.
Skylar: Yeah.
Fatty Lumpkins: Guns Bickle. Boom.
Skylar: Yeah, you heard. First I took Quinn down to like almost dead and then I said but before you die, here's a gun. And then So let's say you get three magazines filled. That's let's say yeah. 30 total shots.
Cameron: 10 in each.
Skylar: Yeah.
Cameron: Yeah. There you go.
Quinn: Is there anything else that I could grab that I can maybe put. I don't have like swords there but like use like one hand.
Skylar: They do have machetes.
Quinn: I probably so Air Brill's machete. I'm going. I'd probably get rid of the baseball bat obviously. And I would probably change out for like just a machete that I could put on my like carry on my back.
Cameron: How much stuff do you have?
Quinn: I. I only have would have a hand.
Skylar: He did get rid of the.
Quinn: I'm getting rid of the.
Skylar: Which I appreciate. I think that's fair.
Quinn: Cuz the machete should have like a something I can ping over my shoulder and I could just be like yeah.
Skylar: You look like a jungle ninja with.
Quinn: A broken useless arm.
Skylar: With a busted arm. okay. Yeah. If you want a machete, let's call short sword. Okay. D6 time strength.
Cameron: Can I grab.
Skylar: Is there keys, on the guy, on the store? yeah, yeah.
Cameron: I want to grab his keys and then go hop behind the counter and start going through the gun cabinet.
Skylar: Okay.
Cameron: I mean anyone's welcome to join me, but I'm gonna start looking.
Fatty Lumpkins: We're all kind of.
Cameron: Well, are you going back there too?
Fatty Lumpkins: I envision myself looking through the guns. Right.
Cameron: Okay. So me and Fatty are looking through the guns.
Skylar: Okay.
Cameron: I find like a rifle.
Skylar: Okay, sure. I mean there's also literally I want.
Cameron: To ar though automatic rifle. Are there are those there? If not, I'll grab just a shotgun.
Skylar: Here's the thing. There would be some there I've seen them at.
Cameron: If not I grab a shotgun.
Skylar: I'll certain sporting stores. They would definitely. No, no, no. You can definitely have one though. so okay, so this is a assault rifle and it is. The damage is D 8 times 4 but you only find 20 bullets for it. But it's one magazine with 20 bullets. Okay.
Fatty Lumpkins: Got it being an avid once a year pheasant hunter at this point in his life, Batty is going to gravitate towards the shotgun.
Skylar: Okay.
Fatty Lumpkins: So he's gonna look preferably for a semi auto shotgun or a pump action, not a double barrel or bolt Action or break action. Okay, so going to grab that and as many shells as he can carry.
Skylar: I've got two options for you or three options. There's. Are you looking for bird shot? Buckshot or slugs?
Cameron: You want slugs the most damage, but.
Fatty Lumpkins: Then that's a, Like a one.
Cameron: Yes, it's buck, but I want buck.
Fatty Lumpkins: Aren't there shotguns that can shoot both? Like, what if I.
Cameron: You can absolutely grab all case of.
Fatty Lumpkins: Buck and a case of slugs.
Cameron: I was gonna say camo shotguns do all.
Cameron: Yes, as long as it's like chambered in the right gauge.
Skylar: Yeah.
Cameron: you can buy an eight gauge slug at an eight gauge.
Skylar: All right, here's what I'll tell you. Here's what I'll tell. It's different damages.
Cameron: It's probably just going from small.
Skylar: Let's just do D 8 times 5 and I'll give you 10 shots. There you go.
Fatty Lumpkins: And then just for the spectacle, I would like to see if I could find a couple, canisters of tannerite.
Skylar: Oh, yes. Okay. Yes. I was wondering if that would come.
Cameron: Up, while he's looking around back here. So I have to ask a quick question, and this is an important question. This is 2016.
Skylar: Okay.
Cameron: What zombie knowledge? What's the zombie stuff that came out in 2016? In 2016? Because I want to know what 2016 Cameron is referencing for zombie knowledge right now.
Skylar: Well, would it be because I want.
Cameron: To know, is this like, do I have to play this like they do in zombie movies where all the people for some reason act like they've never heard of a zombie in their life? Or am I going to play off the knowledge I would have in 2016?
Skylar: No, the knowledge you have in 2016. So I guess the question goes back to you. What, what zombie movies or zombie knowledge did Cameron have in 2016?
Cameron: Look up what was out in 2016.
Skylar: Yeah, I mean, Zombie Lane had come out
Skylar: by. Well, then, yeah.
Cameron: Ah, I saw Zombieland in theaters. Okay. Those were my favorites growing up.
Skylar: Train to Busan, dawn of the Dead.
Cameron: I didn't see that.
Skylar: But I mean, I guess both Shaun.
Cameron: Of the Dead and Zombieland I loved back when they came out.
Skylar: So days later.
Cameron: Okay, so now that I know this, while I'm looking, for guns and stuff, and I see Fatty standing next to me, he's kind of like leaned over looking at the tapering or whatever. I don't care. M. I can I give him a glance, like, look up and down to see if he has any bike marks on him.
Skylar: Oh, I thought you were. He's. Oh, I guess you are. Yeah. I mean, you can definitely do that role. some kind of like, perception. Yeah. Do you. And if you have any skills that you feel, like, fit. I do.
Cameron: I have a seven on that.
Skylar: Okay. Yeah. So you look over at him, and you're kind of looking them up and down. Fatty. You look over back at him as you're picking up a shotgun. Like, you see through the case, and you can see you. You see in the reflection of the.
Fatty Lumpkins: Case that you're being examined.
Skylar: Ogled. Like Cameron from a distance.
Cameron: No, I'm right next to him from a short distance.
Fatty Lumpkins: Can you insert the sound cup? Or it's like. Oh, binocularized.
Skylar: yeah. You notice that he's. He's kind of looking you over, so do that. What you will.
Fatty Lumpkins: I will, actually.
Skylar: I actually like the idea. Okay, this is what you see, right? So cut to pov. Cameron's point of view. Cameron looks down and he sees Fatty's shoes. And then he slowly goes up. He sees his ankles.
Cameron: He sees his.
Skylar: His male kind of hairy thighs. It's just normal dudes. It is what it is. He continues to glance up at the. Did you ever put on.
Fatty Lumpkins: Why are my thighs exposed in the middle of November?
Skylar: I don't know. You're from north of US I just assume you're one of those crazy people that wears shorts.
Cameron: Athletic shorts in the winter.
Skylar: He scans up the shorts, gets to your waist. Doesn't hesitate there long, because that's weird. Continues up your torso. And then when he reaches your head, you're just staring right back at him. That's what you see. Your eyes just kind of meet right there as he's standing there holding a shotgun.
Cameron: I'm holding a rifle and you're holding a rifle.
Skylar: Begin seeing us.
Fatty Lumpkins: I'm going to avert eye contact.
Skylar: you don't notice any kind of bite marks on this side of his.
Cameron: Body, at least on this side?
Skylar: Yeah.
Cameron: That just makes me want to look on the other side. Whoa.
Cameron: You may. You maintain eye contact and you give him one of those, like, finger. Finger gestures to do a little spin. Do a little spin for him, Fatty.
Fatty Lumpkins: I'm going to do the dollar bill, so.
Cameron: You shouldn't have chosen this nickname.
Fatty Lumpkins: It's all the better with the nickname.
Cameron: So, Patty, how do you, how do you know Dave?
Fatty Lumpkins: We went to college together.
Cameron: Oh, you went to college together?
Fatty Lumpkins: Oh, watched a lot of Walking Dead together. Yeah, I consider myself a fairly, proficient in the lore of zombies.
Cameron: Oh, same here. so you haven't gotten bit, right? Any of you, right?
Fatty Lumpkins: Nope, none of us. All clean.
Cameron: You mind? Like, arm sleeves. Roll up your sleeves. Roll up your pant legs. You know, honestly, take, off your clothes. Cameron's gonna, Cameron's gonna turn around and look at the rest of the group who's now like, maybe we should kiss. Everyone's like, everyone's, like, looting and stuff. And Cameron's just kind of, like, looks at all of them again. Hey, mind if everyone just, like, shows their arms and legs to make sure? I don't want to be walking around. Anyone got bit? You guys all just showed up out of nowhere.
Dave: Do it.
Fatty Lumpkins: There's no time.
Cameron: No, there is.
Fatty Lumpkins: There's a horde of zombies attacking us.
Skylar: To move in on you. You guys have looted for quite a while here.
Cameron: Well, how do we get out of here, then?
Cameron: And at this point, I'm staring at you. I've got that tactical helmet with the night vision goggles and, like, a bullet vest thing and then the booty shorts. that's a juicy on him. So I'm like, I'm. I'm not taking all this off again. Sorry.
Skylar: I just got these shorts on. They're tired.
Cameron: That was not my last question. I asked. How do we get out of here?
Skylar: Is anybody. Somebody that would have gone into Sporties pretty often, by chance, stops by Sporties every time they go to the mall? I would say you see an exit sign that's lit up. Not at the usual exit sign. There's a side door.
Cameron: There's a side door to the roof.
Dave: Sporties have a giant tree in the middle or a Ferris trail they climb to get to the roof.
Cameron: I like this idea a lot.
Skylar: We like this
Skylar: idea as far as, like, man, we could end this so fast if they all just die climbing a Christmas tree. Yeah, absolutely. There's a big, giant Christmas tree in the middle of the store.
Cameron: There's some of these sporties that had giant, like, oak trees in the middle of their.
Skylar: Oh, yeah, they're fake oak trees.
Fatty Lumpkins: The Sporties in Sioux Falls has one of the largest.
Skylar: Really? So they also have, like, a freaking Ferris wheel in there.
Cameron: What if we climb the Ferris wheel? Oh, darn it.
Skylar: All right.
Dave: But I come. I come back. Yeah, I'm, rolling back in because I'm on a long board.
Skylar: Nice.
Dave: And also, I got slung on my back.
Skylar: I got, golf, bag nice.
Dave: And sticking out of it, like, three shotguns.
Skylar: Oh, my gosh.
Dave: All Loaded.
Cameron: Oh, nice.
Skylar: I just want to establish that I personally, Skylar. I'm proud of you guys. when one of you comes up with a really cool idea, the rest of you don't go, oh, yeah, I'm going to go get a golf bag and fill it with shotguns too. Like, nobody likes that. Dave thought of the shotguns in the bag. So Dave gets shotguns in the bag with the rest of you just holding your guns. It's fine.
Cameron: And you know what? I'm happy about it.
Skylar: Yes, yes, agree. It keeps you all different.
Dave: Say, what if we just roll out the front door?
Cameron: Oh, those. When they say on the announcement, the military just shoot us.
Dave: No, not that. That door. I mean, we gotta go to the.
Fatty Lumpkins: Where's the roof to this? Or where's the stairwell?
Cameron: Oh, is there. You have a map? Where'd you get that from?
Dave: Connor needs, drugs.
Skylar: Oh, yeah, Connor, you gotta go to.
Dave: We sell drugs.
Skylar: For those that are listening, Connor's not here with us today, so he's returned to NPC status for the duration of today's episode. Assuming he makes it past that.
Fatty Lumpkins: I think in the last episode, I had just saved his butt. So he is in shock right now.
Skylar: yes.
Cameron: Resell drugs.
Skylar: Yes.
Cameron: There's a. I'm guessing that's not close.
Skylar: No, it's pretty much across the mall.
Cameron: Oh, Why? I don't think we have the time or the ability to go there. Hopefully the medics, have them have, insulin.
Skylar: Connor, you can see from the fact that he had so much shock and so much intensity, he's starting to turn a little bit pale. Oh, guys, I'm not feeling. I mean, I am feeling chill, but not like that kind of chill. You know what I'm saying?
Fatty Lumpkins: Because what time of day is it? And we have to be on the roof at midnight.
Skylar: Yes, it is, probably 10:00 by this point. Yeah, two hours.
Cameron: I think we should probably book it to. We sell drugs, get the drugs he needs for his, diabetes. Ah, I guess that sounds made up to me.
Fatty Lumpkins: I, think we started high.
Skylar: We started high, but at this point he's low.
Cameron: Okay, Just instantly.
Skylar: Not instantly.
Fatty Lumpkins: I mean, he did do a lot of exercise trying to punch the dude, so, yeah, mechanistically.
Skylar: He could help in the bookstore moving a lot of the furniture and stuff.
Fatty Lumpkins: So now we need sugars.
Dave: Wasn't there a specific place we needed to go to get roof access?
Skylar: Yes, the security office has a ladder in there. The security office is actually pretty darn. Close to we sell drugs, right?
Cameron: Yeah.
Dave: That old man, that old janitor told us we need to go to the security office because there's a ladder in there to get to the roof. Unless you got another way up.
Cameron: Where's the security office?
Dave: All the way on the other side of that mall.
Fatty Lumpkins: But conveniently located right next to we sell drugs.
Skylar: Yeah.
Cameron: Oh, it is right next to we sell drugs.
Skylar: Sort of around the. Around the corner from it, but yeah.
Cameron: All right, let's go there then. Why not, huh? All right, who's leading the way?
Cameron: I've got covering fire support. Just because my weapon of choice moves a lot slower than the rest of yalls. Because you got the arrow and you draw it. It's reusable, but it's slower than, like a shotgun.
Skylar: Sure. Not slower on the reload, though. That's nice.
Fatty Lumpkins: On their way out, am I able to grab a handgun? Sure to pocket it. Also, what was the damage on the shotgun?
Skylar: the shotgun is D 8 times 5. the handgun is. I'd say you get a smaller one. It's a.22, and it's D4 times two. It holds 10 bullets.
Dave: What are the shotguns hold?
Skylar: I think eight bullets each. All right, so you guys see that sort of like employee entrance slash emergency exit door off to the side. Is that what you're taking? I assume. I doubt you're running straight into the zombies, unless that's what you.
Cameron: Yeah, we should probably not run straight into the zombies. Just the thought. Let's go that way.
Skylar: Okay. you run up to the door and you find that it is locked. But as the zombies are starting to
Skylar: get closer and closer, shuffling through and around the various displays and racks full of athletic clothing, getting closer and closer to you and your group. Cameron, you have the keys that you grabbed off the manager. And after several tries, kind of the classic horror movie where you put one in, it's not working. You put the next one in. You just got, like, this whole chain of keys you're trying to go through. And finally, finally one of them works. And you guys push through the door and turn around and close it behind you just as the zombies are getting. Getting up close and, relock it from the other side. You guys are back out into the service hallway. you can actually see, the entrance to the coffee portion of COVID to cover opposite of you. And that's where you're at. Not saying you have to go down that, but I'm just saying, you know, you're in the service hallway. That you're familiar with. And you could go all the way around cover to cover, kind of towards the movie theater kind of back where you started.
Fatty Lumpkins: If.
Skylar: If that's what you wanted to do. That'd be a nice, nice chunk of, ground to cover.
Fatty Lumpkins: Because if we look towards the entrance to Sporties, is that now being overrun by zombies?
Cameron: Yes.
Skylar: They were attracted by the sound, and they're kind of flooding in.
Fatty Lumpkins: Okay, have they glimpsed our movement down this service hallway?
Skylar: Well, I mean, they would have seen you go out this side door that led into it, but they're not smart enough to, like, oh, let's go around. They're obviously in the service. You know, these are zombies we're talking about here. These are classic slow shufflers.
Dave: All right, let's make up some ground.
Skylar: All right, let's go as far as we can. Yeah.
Dave: so I turn on the flashlight on this tactical.
Skylar: Holy cow. It just keeps getting better.
Dave: Not, Combat America. The ones that got anybody's listening pistol grip on it.
Quinn: Yeah, not American. Like, yeah, no, you can't.
Skylar: Yeah, you can. It's terrifying. awesome. Yeah, you flip on the flashlight. It is getting, ah, kind of dark in this service hallway. The lights are starting to flicker a little bit. Some of them are starting to dim. And. Yeah, it's kind of spooky in here. And you guys start making your way, down and around. And as you guys come out to the, service entrance that goes directly alongside cover to cover, sort of those front windows where you saw Jackson through the window and everything like that, and then had come through there. So you have two options. You can go to the right and then enter to the main hallway of the mall. Or you can continue down the service hallway all the way to kind of where you started from, over by the teas and jerseys store and the pillow palace and stuff like that. Which do you choose?
Cameron: It seems like the service hallway is the better way to go because they're over flooding the main hallway.
Quinn: What's the, Like, what would be the best way to get to the roof?
Skylar: So the roof is going to be. I mean, as far as you know. You were told that the security office has a ladder that leads up to the roof.
Quinn: It's got to be more than just that, though.
Cameron: We don't know anywhere else, though.
Quinn: Just trying to think what would make sense.
Skylar: But. But the security office is right by. We m. Sell drugs, which has the medication that Connor's in desperate need of.
Quinn: Where's the we sell drugs at?
Skylar: It's his over on the far end of.
Quinn: The far end of the mall.
Fatty Lumpkins: over.
Skylar: Right under Dino Dozers.
Cameron: We told him to cut. Cut back on it.
Cameron: We staged an intervention because we found needles in his car.
Skylar: Oh, no.
Cameron: Poor guy. Too far gone at this point. He says he can't live without it.
Cameron: Yeah, it's really. It's kind of messed up. He's really into this, sticking himself. It's kind of sad. Hugs, not drugs. Am I right?
Skylar: That's right.
Quinn: So are we going to go past out of game here?
Skylar: Oh, and yeah, and don't forget that you guys also have to get your presents, too, before you guys head up to the roof. you have presents? Yeah, the presents that you guys all wanted to get.
Cameron: I feel like that's.
Cameron: Which.
Skylar: Cameron, I never actually got yours.
Cameron: I don't have one.
Skylar: Why were you at this mall then on Black Friday? On Black Friday? Yeah.
Cameron: Oh, I was here to get this jersey I'm wearing.
Skylar: Yeah. Congratulations.
Cameron: He did it.
Fatty Lumpkins: You win.
Skylar: Everybody else still has items they have to grab.
Quinn: Oh, man, I could have grabbed the hat I was after in Sporties.
Cameron: Oh, I have a hat, too.
Quinn: Can I have a hat?
Dave: I forgot what I said.
Cameron: I don't have a hat.
Skylar: Dave, you. Yeah, you are after apple slicer in a frisbee golf disc.
Dave: Oh, dang it, guys, I gotta go back for the.
Cameron: Wait, I think I have Frisbee discs.
Dave: Oh, yeah.
Skylar: Oh, yeah, you're absolutely.
Fatty Lumpkins: Disc.
Cameron: I got some discs.
Skylar: All right, all right. So, Dave, are you giving him one? I'm assuming yes. You're gifting him one. What a holiday thing to do. Thanks.
Dave: Thanks, fatty. I totally forgot to grab a disc in there.
Fatty Lumpkins: I got you. Maybe you'll come across a candle for me.
Skylar: Okay, so you guys are coming to the end of the, service hallway, but as you do, you hear something. So you guys are kind of like rounding a corner, and then up ahead there's another corner. But around that corner you hear the sound of squeaking rubber wheels. Just like a constant one is. You can hear something rolling towards you. And around the corner you see your janitor friend, whose name I once again don't remember. Old Janitor man comes walking around the corner slow and steadily with a light shuffle. And he's pushing his, his cart of various cleaning supplies as he does.
Quinn: I don't think he's human anymore.
Dave: Oh, hey, he's alive.
Cameron: I don't think he's human.
Cameron: I would like to perceive him.
Cameron: Okay, yeah.
Skylar: Roll. Roll me that perceived. All right.
Cameron: Who's that? Fella. You guys know him?
Dave: Yeah, he's the janitor. I wonder if he got those power tools he went for.
Quinn: Pretty sure he's,
Skylar: And then you can add your perceptions.
Cameron: He's a what?
Quinn: Pretty sure he's not with us anymore.
Cameron: He looks like a janitor. You think he turned seven?
Skylar: Seven? you. It's kind of dark in here, and. Yeah, I mean, he looks like, You can see the name on his shirt.
Cameron: Uh-huh.
Skylar: And it says Joffrey. Joffrey the janitor.
Cameron: I really love the idea that that is. That's definitely not the name that you said before. So he's just wearing someone else's clothes.
Cameron: Interesting. This guy's got character.
Skylar: Yeah, he changed it. Yeah.
Dave: His uniform got dirty.
Skylar: It got dirty, you know? Yeah. Maybe got some.
Cameron: He has, like, a stash of, like, multiple uniforms, so they all have different names on it.
Skylar: He. Well, here's what he. Well, you wouldn't know because you had to ask him his backstory or the.
Dave: Mall hired, like, quintuplets to keep.
Cameron: I like that even better. I like that even better.
Skylar: That's incredible.
Cameron: Hi. He's like, I've never seen you before in my life.
Skylar: It's like nurse. Giant Pokemon.
Cameron: Yeah.
Skylar: My exact identical twins.
Dave: I'm Janitor Joe, Janitor Joffrey, and Janitor Geralt.
Cameron: He looks fine to me. I'm gonna wave.
Skylar: he continues to just push the cart towards you.
Cameron: Nevermind. I don't think he's fine. He's not waving back.
Cameron: It would be really funny if someone just shot him. Just.
Cameron: You've got a bow.
Fatty Lumpkins: I will chamber around.
Skylar: Okay.
Cameron: But no, no, no. Make the bow guy do it. It's quiet.
Cameron: I shoot him with the bow.
Skylar: All right, roll me the chamber it. So you're gonna do the same thing? Unless you have a supply.
Fatty Lumpkins: I am going to ration them.
Skylar: that relates to archery, but I feel like it would say archery.
Cameron: Yeah, I mean, we're hunting while we're.
Fatty Lumpkins: Looking at the fine print. If Jackson were to fall and I would pick up his bow, would my Lord of the Rings lore give me adequate use of a bow?
Cameron: No.
Skylar: In fact, I would give you. I'd give you a minus on it.
Fatty Lumpkins: Because you think that you can shoot like Legolas.
Skylar: The cool way to shoot it is completely wrong, but that's what you know is the cool way to shoot.
Fatty Lumpkins: I'm glad I did not pick up a.
Cameron: Am I doing Dexterity?
Skylar: Yes.
Cameron: Yeah. 11 plus 3.
Skylar: Wow. Okay. You, fire an arrow.
Cameron: Three times. Three.
Skylar: That's nine damage. Your arrow flies true, slamming directly into the chest of Joffrey the janitor. He flies. or he kind of releases.
Cameron: How hard did you shoot that?
Skylar: He releases his cart that continues to roll towards you, and he clutches at his chest and falls the ground.
Cameron: Does he say anything? Dang it. He was fine. We'll help him.
Skylar: I'm bleeding out. I'm bleeding out.
Cameron: I think that this might create legal troubles, in the future. No one would question it if he didn't come out of this.
Skylar: So it's a reasonable fact, I suppose.
Cameron: What if we just, like, just kept going?
Skylar: Tools you requested. I will take a look at the tools.
Fatty Lumpkins: What type of tools am I?
Skylar: Straight to the tool.
Dave: Well, I.
Fatty Lumpkins: It had a squeaky wheel. I had to stop it from drawing the zombie attention.
Skylar: Yeah, there's a whole toolbox full of various, power tools. Yeah, there's a couple of power tools.
Fatty Lumpkins: Is there a sawzall?
Skylar: There's probably, like, an electric screwdriver. I don't know if there'd be a
Skylar: sawzall. That seems a little like, why. Why would a even just a maintenance worker for a mall, why would he need a sawzall? I don't think he'd have any reason to have a cart with a saw.
Fatty Lumpkins: I feel like a sawzall is a fairly ubiquitous tool.
Skylar: It is, but, like, I feel like you would. That's a special situation. The mall doesn't say, hey, go take this thing with a bladed saw around.
Cameron: Hey, fatty, what are you looking for? Sawzall. You thought he would have a sawzall?
Skylar: I did.
Cameron: Why do you need a sawzaw?
Fatty Lumpkins: Because I'm proficient with power tools, so I'm looking for a useful power tool.
Dave: How about this random orbital sander?
Cameron: I just feel like, oh, you don't shoot that down. You shoot us a Sawza. Huh?
Skylar: What Tools? Primarily. Primarily woodworking tools. Probably would have, like, a garage area and things would be dealt with there and then brought out. So, like, they're here, it's just not here.
Cameron: I think we need to get going, guys.
Fatty Lumpkins: Yeah, I'll leave the cart be fine.
Dave: That's why he had to go get them to begin with.
Skylar: Okay, okay, you know what? That's a fair point. That's literally why he disappeared, was to go, okay, there is a saw. You guys just have to rationale with me. That's what I said at the beginning. Why would this. This man have a saw? Dave makes a good point. He went to go get you power tools because that's explicitly what you asked him for, I'll give you a saw. He went to that garage area, and he grabbed us. He said. He said, we do a cutscene to the garage. He's rushing around and he's grabbing tools off the shelf, loading up this cart. And at one moment, you see him. He reaches down, he grabs a sawzall, and he looks at it for a second, and then he sets it back down, and he turns around, and then he goes, you know what? That actually be pretty, pretty useful. Grabs it, puts it on the cart. There you go. And then he put some other tools on top.
Cameron: His smile comes across his face, knowing that he's gonna do a good deal. And then it cuts back to him, makes the smile, fades into him laying on the ground, holding his chest, going, oh, as we all are walking away from.
Skylar: In the prequel, in the pre. In the little throwback, he. He says as he grabs the fully loaded cart, runs down the service hall with it. He says, these are going to help a lot of people. And now. Now cutting back to where we're at in this immediate scene. He's laying there on the ground as you guys are grabbing tools off of this cart, Just ignoring him as he's dying. And he goes, those are going to help a lot of people.
Cameron: I'm going to walk up and be like, sorry, and then grab my arrow.
Skylar: I can restore that arrow would probably help him.
Cameron: I am.
Fatty Lumpkins: Yes, I'm going to.
Dave: So I grabbed some rags from his car.
Skylar: I'm just waiting for you guys to grab the power tools and start building him like a freaking arm.
Quinn: First.
Skylar: Get in line, man.
Dave: Where did he get hit?
Skylar: in the chest. I'm gonna say this side opposite the heart. But nonetheless, should we just put him.
Quinn: Out of his misery?
Cameron: He's right there.
Quinn: I whispered that. He can't hear me.
Cameron: Yeah, he can.
Fatty Lumpkins: So with this, should we just put.
Quinn: You out of your misery?
Skylar: No, wait. I wanted me get out of this alive.
Cameron: How about we just put him on the cart and just wheel him along with us? Yeah, I'll help pick him. I'll help pick him up.
Quinn: We can use him as bait.
Skylar: No.
Dave: I knew you were going to say that.
Cameron: Stop. Whisper. He's right here.
Skylar: I can't hear very well, but I can hear well enough.
Quinn: He's going to help a lot of people.
Cameron: Yeah. Oh, there you go. I guess. Anyways, Dave, you want to help me get on. On this cart? We can help him as we're going.
Skylar: Okay.
Quinn: I would help, but I only got.
Skylar: One arm in A quick in a concept. I desperately want to know how you lay him out on this cart.
Quinn: Just like this. Just like this. Hang on. I'm doing it just like this.
Cameron: A visual example.
Cameron: Just like podcast.
Cameron: Excellent. That's not a cart.
Quinn: Well, it works just like.
Skylar: Are you supermanning him on this cart?
Cameron: Yeah, I, don't know what I'm looking at.
Cameron: Brightest Rick or Mortar.
Quinn: This is a come.
Skylar: And.
Cameron: I was gonna ask you to.
Skylar: I'm gonna roll with that. You guys lay him, like, chest down on this cart. Yeah, he's going with a bunch of shop rags. Just kind of just held up against his chest to help stop.
Cameron: I figured he'd be chest up. And Dave's holding, like, a rag on his chest as we're, like, pushing the car.
Fatty Lumpkins: Well, then what are his, like, limbs doing? Just flailing.
Cameron: Might as well. What else is.
Skylar: Fatty is holding his legs to push the car and his affliction just outwards. Every time he goes to a doorway.
Cameron: They bump into the arms. He's like, oh, keep it down. I'm sorry, we're gonna have to gag you.
Skylar: I'm just trying to. We're just trying to help a lot of people.
Cameron: Okay, where are we going? Where are we?
Skylar: Janitor
Skylar: Jared, or what was it? Shoot, I already.
Cameron: Joffrey.
Skylar: Janitor Joffrey. Just trying to help a lot of people. All right, you guys come out of the service entrance, and once again, you are nearby the trophy case in tees and jerseys. you guys have two options now. You can go the long way up and around the food court, or you can go through the food court. It's a shorter direction, but who knows what kind of horrors await inside.
Quinn: Yeah, this food court would be, like, super quick.
Cameron: Yeah, sure. Let's just cut through the food court.
Skylar: You turn the corner to the left, pushing Joffrey, how's it look? yeah, that's what I was getting to. And as you guys start to turn, you find the food court just.
Quinn: There should be a back door that we can get into.
Skylar: Well, it's kind of hard to find anything because there's just a whole bunch of zombies in here. Jeffrey's trying to, like, look back as he's, like, kind of laid out on the car.
Cameron: Stop squirming, old man. It only makes it go faster.
Skylar: Does it look pretty clear down there?
Cameron: Not a bit. Oh, how about. I think we have to go the long way. Okay, I'm going to turn the cart. I'm going to start going long. All right.
Cameron: And you just, like, hit the corner of a table every single.
Cameron: Yeah, sorry. Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry.
Quinn: How are we going to get this guy up the line? How am I going to get myself up the ladder, for one? But how are we going to get this guy up the ladder? Yeah, yeah, I'll be all right. But what about him?
Cameron: We'll get there when we get there. One thing at a time.
Quinn: I mean, we could just use him as me.
Cameron: We can get there when we get there. One thing at a time. We first need to get to the drugstore for Connor. Right, Connor?
Skylar: Yeah, that'd be pretty shock. Abrah.
Cameron: Then we can leave.
Quinn: I need a hat.
Cameron: Do you guys actually care about getting your Black Friday stuff?
Quinn: I need a hat.
Cameron: I feel like that should be the least of everyone's worries.
Skylar: That was Skylar's 1x explicit rule. Was that you? All me. The zombie master said you have to care about getting your Christmas, presents. Otherwise this is going to be really boring.
Cameron: I have like a bunch of cash.
Cameron: What do you mean? This is the most fun.
Skylar: Well, that's true. It has been pretty fun.
Cameron: I think one kid, I don't know if I feel like if I asked my, my family if they could have the choice between me risking my life to get them a candle or coming back home in one piece.
Fatty Lumpkins: I feel like the candle, it's a.
Quinn: It'S, it's a free candle at this point.
Cameron: That's true.
Skylar: Everything's free at this point.
Quinn: I feel like they'd be a little bit upset you didn't at least try.
Cameron: Yeah, my mother always says I'm the greatest gift.
Skylar: Whatever, the case, you, guys start making your way up towards the alternate route, which is a little bit longer. You guys pass by Gordman's jewelers and shortly thereafter you see the National Guard recruitment office. And inside, something inside catches your attention. You pause for a moment because not.
Fatty Lumpkins: The pull up bar.
Skylar: Not the pull up bar. As much as you dread that pull up bar, it's not that that catches your eye. Instead it is the military vehicle.
Dave: Nice. What was that one?
Skylar: I'm trying to remember m it 747 or something like that.
Cameron: For other people to know. We played a zombie based mall campaign and one guy just went straight to a hum. went to a store that sold a Gurkha 747. And he spent the entire session sitting inside the Gurkha with this, with the clerk just talking about the different factors of the car. And that is what he did.
Skylar: It was the biggest challenge for me as the DM to come up with some, like. I mean, once asking the clerk for.
Cameron: All the features it had, that was all he was doing the whole time. Anyways, what are the features on this Humvee?
Skylar: yeah, I mean, it's a Humvee. It's pretty much like the closest thing to a tank that you could drive through them all.
Cameron: Yo, guys, let's get in this tank that we can drive through the mall.
Skylar: okay, let me rephrase that. It's not so much a Humvee, it's more of a jeep, like a military jeep, but it's pretty sick looking. And it would make your job of moving this. Ah. Old man a lot easier.
Cameron: What if we all got in this jeep, right? And then we just drove out the front door and the military thinks we're military?
Dave: That could work.
Cameron: Like, we put a bunch of flags on and we put on some military uniforms.
Skylar: All right, what do you. I mean, are you guys gonna go for it?
Cameron: Well, we should still get in it and then we could just drive to wherever we need to go.
Skylar: Dude.
Dave: Well, we gotta find the keys.
Skylar: I was just gonna say,
Dave: All right. Is there anybody in the store?
Skylar: Do, me a perception check.
Dave: That's 10.
Skylar: 10. All right, that's a success. So as, you kind of take a couple
Skylar: steps towards this National Guard recruitment facility facility in the mall, and you peek inside, trying to get a glance, you do notice, some movement kind of towards the back corner of the room, some shuffling, from a fairly large being.
Fatty Lumpkins: Now go ahead and shoot at it.
Skylar: You just take the shotgun and blast.
Fatty Lumpkins: Yeah, I got nine more rounds.
Skylar: All right, fair enough. Roll that attack.
Fatty Lumpkins: It is an 11.
Skylar: 11. That's a success.
Cameron: He walked in and he just blasted the first dude we saw in this store.
Skylar: All.
Fatty Lumpkins: 15.
Skylar: 15. Holy crap. See, I made you guys overpowered. Now your gunshot flies out, slamming directly into whatever this figure is. You see it sort of lurch forward, slamming into the wall. It crumples for a moment, then picks itself back up and turns towards you guys and starts to shuffle towards you a little slower than it was before, towards the light. And you realize that it is a zombie that is completely decked out in full sort of camo military armor.
Cameron: I shoot at it.
Skylar: Okay, yeah, go for it. Roll your attack.
Cameron: 14.
Skylar: 14. Wow. Okay. Yeah, that absolutely hits. Roll. the damage for that. 20 total. Yeah. Holy crap. All right, what gun do you have again?
Cameron: My ar.
Skylar: Oh, shoot. Yeah. Okay.
Cameron: Do you want me to see how many bullets I used? yes, I just three bullets.
Skylar: Three bullets. Okay. You fire three bullets, all sinking into it, dealing 20 damage total. the figure crumples to the ground. That was, I mean, that was a lot faster than I thought it was going to go down. But, he is most definitely dead.
Cameron: All right, well, let's see if the keys are on him. All right, I'm gonna go add to my keyring.
Skylar: Okay. You rush over.
Cameron: This is like Project Zomboid.
Skylar: Sure.
Cameron: I'm gonna add every key to my key ring.
Skylar: That's a good way to do it. sure enough, you do find, a set of keys on it that seem to, possibly go to, there's a couple of different keys, so rooms and vehicles. Possibly. whatever the case, as you grab these keys, you hear a, And from out of a back room behind it, two more of these National Guard zombies comes walking out from the back.
Skylar: Thank you all for joining us for another episode of our All Flesh Must Be Eaten.
Skylar: One Shot, Black Friday of the Dead.
Skylar: Which represents our celebration of the holiday season. We hope you're enjoying a little zombie fighting action amidst, your Christmas fun. If you are, we encourage you to check out some of our other series, such as our Avatar Legends long term campaign Benders and Brews, which is set in the world of the last Airbender, or our Dungeons and Dragons long term series Criminals of Isla Numis. If you're looking for more spooky actual play content from us, I encourage you to go check out our Hunter's Haven series, which now has two different music Mayhem, which was written and run by Cameron, who you heard in this series, and Trick or Treat, Fight or Flee, which was written by Nate Vagart, who you can hear play in our Escape from Dino Island. One shot. Whatever you listen to next, be sure to follow or subscribe to the Session Zero Heroes podcast on your preferred podcast streaming platform. You can find us everywhere from Apple podcasts to Spotify to YouTube. Following the show ensures that you don't miss out on any of our upcoming series and one shots. And if you're on a platform that allows you to comment, like or rate our show, it would mean a lot if you would take the time to leave us that feedback as it helps us grow and produce even better content. Another way to keep up with us and what we're doing is to follow us on social media, whether that be Facebook x Instagram, Discord, or all of the above. It's a great way to keep up with our upcoming episodes as well as other fun news and content from us. We appreciate you taking a listen. The series will air through the month of November, 2024 and into December 2024, so be sure to swing back to get the rest of the exciting conclusion to this special holiday zombie series.
Skylar: We'll see you guys next time.